"Woman" by Tara Lee Abernathy
I thought you did a great job with describing what was going on and not telling too much. I especially love the opening sentence: "I sit in the parking lot, air conditioner on full blast to combat the blistering sun that reflects off the pavement, pulling my hair back out of my face and slathering on one more coat of lip gloss." Great concrete details! I also really like the second paragraph describing the different kinds of doctors that reside in the same building as the gyno and the woman in the parking lot. Great! Especially loved the "puckered lips of a brace-faced teenager, nor the perma-smile of a Botox patient."
I didn't quite get the connection between the intro and the immersion aspect of the essay. I guess you're overcoming your fear of the "lady doctor" by sitting in the waiting room and other places in the office, but not actually getting a check-up? And you allude to "the last visit," but I kind of wanted to know more. Maybe you didn't want that to be the focus of the piece, though. Maybe add in crots with some reflections about your past experience. And I also wanted to know how long you were actually at the doctor's office. Were these just some of the patients you encountered? Very interesting topic, good job!
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