workshop 2--bill

"Living the Life: Participating in Statesboro Collegiate Ministries" by William Beeson

Like I said in class, I think my favorite aspect of this essay is how you don't have to come right out and say, "Hey, I don't like being in social situations." It's just implied in the text how awkward/unnerving being around all these people can be. And there was some great detail--I love the opening sentence to "Week One" on page 1: "I pull up onto the grass under the pine tree, the tires sinking into the dirt." I marked some other really good sentences on my copy of your essay. I think my only real suggestion would be to let us know why the Sunday service was okay for you to attend, but this Wednesday night service was not. What is so comforting about the Sunday service? I also wanted to know more about your faith in general; it's up to you whether or not to incorporate those kinds of details, since it might change the focus of your essay, but that's one more story you could "weave" into this piece. Does your faith help you cope with having social "issues" if you will? Does it make you feel more connected to others? etc. I think there's a whole bigger meaning underneath all of this. I love your voice; it's very distinctly "Bill." Good job! I didn't even mind that it was 15 pages long.