workshop--zachary

"Is There Anybody Out There?" by Zachary Bush
This essay leaves me with a lot of questions, but mostly in a good way. I like that it ended with a questionable tone, which is how many people feel about the existence of god--questionable. I didn't feel that the title fit with the piece; I thought that "I Need Help" or something stronger would have been more appropriate. To me, this essay is about trying to figure out yourself, to know what makes you act the way you do. I thought the voice was real and strong, and I appreciated the humor in some parts. The opening story was very attention-grabbing, but then E is barely mentioned again. Why did you think of this incident again while looking at a knife? The descriptions of the drug use incidents were vivid. I think that adding space breaks every time there was a time transition would help clarify the chronology of events.
I was left with the question, "Where do you find God?" Not just a general "you," but you, Zachary Bush. Where do you find God? Is it in the people who care about you? Why were you praying with your ex-girlfriend? Was she trying to help you find God? Do you hate the idea of God or not? Did God become just another thing for you to depend on, like drugs? What led to you using drugs anyway? Was God to blame? Was anyone to blame? There were some inconsistencies, like with italics. Are your thoughts italicized or not? I still don't know if you believe in God or not. I think your goal is to show your reader how confusing and complicated spirituality is. You succeeded, but I think it could be clearer.