workshop--brenda

"The Big Picture" by Brenda Simmons
I liked reading a story from the point of view of a woman filing for divorce. You always here stories about the aftermath, empowerment and stuff, but hardly ever about actually signing the papers, the whole process of ending a marriage. The scene at the lawyer's office was really good, but I thought that you could cut some of the thoughts you have and make it more powerful. That line, "I am Brenda Simmons. I am here to sign my divorce papers," is really powerful. You could maybe even start the piece with that, and backtrack to lead up to that event. I crossed out some of the things that I thought could be cut, but of course, it's all just suggestions. The use of italics to indicate thoughts was kind of inconsistent, so you might want to look at that again.
I think using space breaks would help the piece flow better, since you start out with a concrete scene and then change to reflection (page 3, when you start talking about the wedding cake and stuff).
The scene when you're applying for food stamps has some really good stuff in it. I think if you made it more like the lawyer scene, as in describing what the building looked like, etc., it would really add to it. I think the point you were trying to convey is that we shouldn't worry too much in bad moments, because there are much bigger things to think about. I thought that the story started lagging when you talk about moving away and going to Statesboro; it's not that that stuff isn't important, it could just be told in a different way. You could maybe think about just presenting us with different scenes that kind of "sum up" your experiences with getting divorced and then coping. I really like the scene on page 7 when you're talking to your sister about Terry. I was confused, though--did you already sign the divorce papers or what? Overall, good job. Just think about playing with scenes and space breaks, and maybe a different title. What do you want people to take away from these experiences? That life goes on? That marriage is still worth it? Yay Brenda!